I don't care if it's tomorrow or day after tomorrow (YEAH!)

This Bollywood blockbuster was produced by the Greatest Gay Man Alive in India (GGMAI).

So just like half of the 1Billion plus Indian population, Ms Gol Matol studies business. She also uses Liril soap in the showers. Like this.




But because this is GGMAI movie, of course, she studies it in the most prestigious, mother of all universities, the "University of New York" (it's so grand, even Google can't find it!). She lives in Toronto, and commutes daily to the New York City.

Then there is this Hipster Indian Dude (HID) who also studies at the same university. But unlike other FOB Indian students, he speaks New York, breathes New York and even shits New York. HID falls in love with Gol Matol.

But then, A Man comes out of nowhere (actually, he comes from India, probably). A Man is full of life, wears lipsticks and wears Only Whites. Also, he sports a designer eyebrow.

A Man loves everybody, sings awesome songs in different voices, and is sexually ambiguous. He loves Pretty Woman movie so much that he has watched it like 500 times. So he sings Pretty Woman in Hindi as well. A Man is so good at singing, he is even allowed to go and sing on the Brooklyn Bridge. He also goes to Dumbo and sings further. He is that good.



Anyway. So after like 5 hours in the movie, we learn that Gol Matol loves A Man, but HID loves Gol Matol. A Man, because he is bisexual, loves both of them and wants to have a threesome. But then he decides to sacrifice his love for Gol Matol - and he informs her that he is gay!!!! This pisses off Gol Matol and she is like "Fuck you, I will just marry HID. He has been jerking off on me ever since."

Then we also learn that A Man has AIDS after screwing so many guys without protection.

Then Gol Matol, HID, their family and friends, and about 2500 extras travel to India and participate in more songs and dances and they are getting engaged. A Man is also there, but he gets a huge erection and that almost kills him. In all this, Gol Matol finds out that even A Man used to fantasize her, and in reality, he is not gay, but just bisexual.

After this, suddenly, A Man is about to die. But he says - "I don't care if I die tomorrow, or day after tomorrow". He takes his own sweet time and even creates a Guinness world record for longest death bed scene of all time. HID gets irritated and gets out of there and even finishes his business degree.



Then, A Man finally dies with a very international background music score straight from Chicago Blues.

Gol Matol marries HID but she still fantasize A Man whenever they 'love' each other, and HID says he is perfectly fine with it.

Thus, the movie ends after about a year.

NASA guy shows Indian villagers how to do stuff

One of the best sci-fi from Bollywood.

Maha Sukh Khan is a NASA engineer who works on the Mars Landing Module (and is also a good singer).

So, like, once he decides to visit India to meet his old teacher who had taught him Electrostatic Ion Thruster 101. He flies in his personal space shuttle and lands in a small village in India. But just before landing, about 10000 ft in the sky, he also picks up a Fuckir who due to his Advance Meditation Technic is floating and enjoying the view. Incidentally, this Fuckir is also a good singer. So, they both sing an awesome song (Fuckir sings just like Kailas Kher) and Fuckir then shows Maha Sukh Khan the best landing site near the village.

So, he lands there. The villagers have never seen a person space shuttle, so they are like, "Wow, man!!"

Then Khan meets the teacher and also bumps into a local school teacher who was also Former Miss India Contestant (FMIC) in her young days, and Khan throws away all his porno collection and decides to fall in love with her (no, not his old teacher).

Because NASA gives unlimited vacation, Khan decides to stay there for a like a year doing nothing but Line Maaro on Former Miss India Contestant. He also arranges local entertainment events where he sings few more songs and FMIC dances. (The plot gets a bit confused here as suddenly Khan thinks he is Lord Rama and all that - but let's not go there.)

During this time, he realizes that Indian villagers are technically not very advanced. They don't even know how to use computers and are struggling to use Gmail, and can't find good website for Monsoon Water Harvesting using Google and all. He also travels to another village and sees that those guys are still using Yahoo mail.

This saddens him a lot. He is like "Fuck this, I am going to teach them how we do things at NASA!".

He also shouts "THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!" - and shows the villagers the great historical documentary "300" to inspire them. The villagers are now all pumped up - they make an army of 300 with Khan as their leader Leonidas.

Khan then collects various parts around the villages (like he uses the modem from the post office, and rockets from his space-shuttle) and together, they build Inter Galactic Super Sonic Traveler.

After this, for some reason, Khan tells FMIC "Don't be a bitch" and that upsets FMIC. So Khan flies back to NASA but remembers that he does not have his porn collection anymore.

So, he is like - Fuck this, I am going back to FMIC. So he goes back and says something like "You can take a NASA engineer out of India, but you can't take India out of NASA engineer" - this line impresses FMIC and they get back together.